Why You Should Schedule a Video Call Before the First Date

Your screen pings: “It’s a match!” You (or they) bring the Grade A banter, and before you know it, there’s a spark over text. You can’t wait to see their funny/adorable/amazing texts gifs emojis stickers. Perhaps you also check their profile multiple times a day in case you forgot what they looked like.

Before exchanging a few hundred more texts or planning a first date, I suggest scheduling a quick video call. It’s a low-effort, high-value way to connect, confirm, and see if the vibe translates from text to semi-in-person.

Not sold? Or your match is iffy about the idea? Humor me and read on to learn why video calls are worth it (and how to handle objections).

If You’re Hesitant: Why You Should Experiment

1. Save Time and Energy

Yes, you felt the text-spark. But text-sparks don’t always carry over to in real life (that’s right, IRL). A 10 minute video call can save you hours of researching locations, planning around traffic, getting ready, commuting, and sitting through an awkward date.

For analogy fans: texts : movie poster :: video call : movie trailer

2. Spot Red Flags (or Green Lights!)

You can learn a lot from hearing tone and seeing body language. Basically, how does this person handles a live conversation? A video call lets you pick up on potential red flags, like interrupting, disrespect, or a lack of chemistry.

On the flip side, it could confirm your match is every bit as great as they seemed and you can feel confident about proceed full-speed ahead.

3. Stay Safe

Meeting someone in person without first verifying who they are can be risky. A video call adds a layer of safety. If they avoid it or make excuses, this could be a red flag, so start close paying attention.

4. Lower the Pressure

No need for perfect lighting, your date outfit, or a spotless room. Keep it casual: hoodie, messy hair, coffee in hand. The point isn’t to impress — it’s to see if you click.

Or if you’re already dressed up and on your way out somewhere, that’s a great opportunity to have a call and have a real reason to keep it short. Two birds!

If Your Match is Hesitant: How to Approach the Conversation

You made it this far? I appreciate you! So, let’s say you’re sold but your match is not. Let’s take a look at four common objections.

Objection #1: "I don’t do video calls. Can’t we just meet?"

This might mean they’re nervous or don’t see the value. Reassure them it’s not a formal interview—just a quick, casual chat to break the ice.

Try saying: "I totally get it. I’ve found quick 5-10 minute chats make in-person dates so much better. Would love to say hi today or tomorrow if you’re up for it!"

Objection #2: "I don’t want to get ready for a video call."

Emphasize there’s no need to dress up. It’s about comfort, not perfection.

Try saying: "Same here! I’ll probably be in a sweatshirt. Let’s keep it casual — this is just to see if we vibe before meeting up."

Objection #3: "I don’t feel comfortable on video."

Acknowledge their feelings and suggest alternatives like voice calls, but highlight the benefits.

Try saying: "I get that calls can feel weird. I do find they’re a great way to feel more comfortable before meeting. Would a quick voice call work better?"

Objection #4: "No." or “That’s weird.”

When asking someone a yes-or-no question, some people will say “no”. It will happen. The only way to avoid this is to not ask at all. So, I encourage you to view this as matches screening themselves out rather them rejecting you. In fact, both of you are strangers to each other, so it’s hard to say they’re rejecting you specifically. The most we can be sure of is they are rejecting your request to get to know each other a little bit more in an alternative, more realistic medium.

Try saying: "I understand.” (hint: try to steer clear of a debate or argument)

The Bottom Line

Video calls are about connection, not perfection. Whether you’re hesitant or trying to convince your match, keep it casual and low-pressure. A few minutes on video can save time, build trust, and help both parties feel more confident about meeting in person.

My Challenge to You

Next time you’re about to ask someone on a first date (or you’re being asked out), try a video call first. Who knows? It might even become your go-to pre-date ritual.

Tried these tips? Share your results with me at info@claritycoachsandy.com — I’d love to hear how it went!